Broken
by Smile because it happened
Summary: There are some sercets you should keep, and some secrets you shouldn't. Steve learns the hard way that protecting the people close to you is sometimes harder than it looks.
1. Chapter 1

Darry POV

The first time I see Josh get hit, it makes my heart jump into my mouth and my stomach flip over.

He's sitting on a tricycle in Steve's front yard and he's got brown hair and looks to be about four years old. I'm thinking that it's kinda late for him to be sitting in the garden and that he ought to have been in bed long before the sun started to go down, when he suddenly sees us and starts to wave madly. He's so busy waving and laughing he don't notice a big man with an angry face come charging out of the house and through the yard straight towards him. I feel my stomach start to clench up.

Steve, Soda and me stop walking as the man drags the kid off his trike, getting madder and madder because the trike's all caught up with the kids legs. He yanks the kid loose and kicks the trike away. He starts smacking the kid across the head, back, anywhere and everywhere. I'm thinking maybe I should do something because the kids' arm looks so small and fragile in the guys' big fist and his eyes are wide and scared and pleading. But the guy's kinda big, and there's really nothing I can do because it's none of my business if some dad wants to spank his kid.

I turn to Steve and Soda, but Soda's staring with his mouth hanging open and Steve's scrunched his face up so tight I can't see his eyes. He sees me watching him and mutters "Bye Soda, bye Darry," before running off down the street. He skids to a halt outside his front yard, and I see him take a deep breath, like he's bracing himself for a fight or something.

Soda's still gawking but I don't want to see anymore so I put my hand on his shoulder and turn him away. Neither of us say a word on the way home, each lost in our own thoughts. Sodas' eyes have lost their sparkle and I wonder if, like me, he's wishing with all his heart he'd said or done something to help that little boy on his tricycle.

I guess from that day on I've always had a soft spot for Josh. He's nine going on ten now, but whenever I look at him I see the same little boy I saw sitting on his tricycle all those years ago. So, when I found him sitting on our porch this afternoon, I didn't need to think twice before inviting him inside. The temperature's topping 98 degrees and he's all red and shiny from running in the heat, but it's cool and shady inside our house and he grins at me as he flops down on the couch. He's holding a cigarette in his left hand and is about to take a puff but I take it from him and stub it out before it reaches his lips.

"Not in the house." I tell him and he pulls a face but doesn't protest. "You shouldn't be smokin' anyway, not at your age."

"Aw come on Darry, everyone else is doing it. And besides, it calms my nerves." He pulls his t-shirt off over his head and wipes his face on it before balling it up and shoving it behind his head to use as an extra cushion.

"If everyone went and jumped off a cliff would you do it?"

"Maybe." He gives me a crazy grin and I smile and tut at him because he reminds me so much of Sodapop the way he's grinning like that.

Josh closes his eyes and leans back into the couch, his head resting on his t-shirt. I watch as his chest methodically rises and drops, and I can't help noticing the way the skin is stretched tight across his ribs and how heavy and laboured his breathing is.

"You hungry kid?"

"Nope, had a three course meal before I came round. You know how much my mum likes to cook." He doesn't open his eyes but a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

"You won't be wanting any chocolate cake then." I disappear into the kitchen and cut him a slice. That kid's never had a three course meal in his life.

When I get back to the lounge Joshs' head has lolled to the side and I think he's fallen asleep until he says, "Is Steve here?"

"Yeah I think he's with Sodapop. You want me to go get him?" He nods. Steve and Soda are in the boys' room, fighting over something or another.

"Steve you've got a visitor." I tell him.

"Tell Josh to go home," he says and he won't look at me.

"You can come tell him yourself. He looks kinda sick, you sure he's ok?"

"Yeah he's fine," Steve mutters as he pushes past me. "You worry to much."

Soda gives me a look before following after him. Steve always gets defensive when I start fussing over Josh, I never quite figured out why. Soda goes to get him and Steve some cake while Steve sits down next to Josh. Josh has eaten half his slice and got the other half around his mouth. He finishes his mouthful before turning to Steve.

"It's nearly six o'clock," he says meaningfully. Steve shrugs.

"Then go home." Josh looks hard at him, as if trying to figure out weather he's joking or not.

"Aren't you coming?" He whispers eventually as Soda perches on the arm of the sofa and hands Steve his cake.

"No, I'm gonna stay here tonight." Josh doesn't say anything. "Go on then, get lost." Steve gives he a shove. "You just said it was nearly six, so get going."

Josh stands up, still staring at Steve. He opens his mouth to say something but Steve cuts him off.

"And don't even think about asking if you can stay too. He'll only come looking for you and then I'll have to leave as well and me and Soda are going out tonight."

I try to read the look Josh is giving Steve, but he's turned on his heel and bolted out the door before I can figure it out. Soda looks at Steve, then at me, then back at Steve. Steve's scrunched his face up so tight I can't see his eyes.

He keeps looking at the clock. 5.52, 5.54, 5.57, 5.58, every few seconds he glances at it.

"Stevie, you ok?" Soda's nervous, something's obviously not ok but Steve won't look at him. He nods and stares doggedly at the tv, but his eyes have glazed over, and it's obvious his mind's else where.

Josh Pov

He's got me pinned to the wall, his hand pressing so hard against my cheek that any minute my whole face is gonna cave in.

"Where's your brother?" He shouts while I try really hard not to cry. "Where's your brother?"

I shake my head and whisper that I don't know. I give up trying not to cry, it's to hard when your big brothers not there and your daddy's about to break your face forever.

"Mama…" I know it's stupid and he's gonna kill me for it but the words slip outta my mouth anyway. I plead with her with my left eye because my right one is squished right shut against the wall. She looks at me for a minute but she's got her own bruises to be worrying about and doesn't have time to be thinking about mine too. Perhaps you have to plead with both eyes if you want your mama to stop your daddy from breaking your face forever, I dunno.

I'm so busy thinking about eyes and bruises and mamas and broken faces I don't see him raise his hand. I'm not ready for the slap and I yell out 'cause it stings something awful. I think he's gonna whup me one again but mama puts his dinner on the table and luckily for me he prefers steak and mash potatoes to breaking my face forever.

I slide down the wall and sit on the floor hugging my knees. I lick my lips and taste chocolate icing and I want to cry all over again because it gets me thinking of Darry and Soda and Ponyboy and Steve and how they're there and I'm here. I hold my breath and scrunch my eyes up until there's a rushing in my ears and my chest feels like it's about to explode. The tears have gone now so I just sit and wait and hurt and watch while my dad eats his steak and mash potatoes.

After years and years he looks at me. "What are you sittin' there for?"

I don't say anything because firstly you never know what might set him off and secondly I don't quite know the answer. I was waiting for him to tell me.

"Lookin' at me with those shifty eyes and that sour look. Bugger off upstairs before I really give you something to frown about. Go on, else I'll knock you into the middle of next week…"

He can go like that for days and days so I bugger off upstairs and leave mama to listen to him. I don't care, she left me to get my face broken forever.

Our room's all hot and sticky, but then it always is, except in winter when it's so cold our lips turn blue. I sit on our bed and prey that he hasn't knocked any teeth loose while I run my tongue carefully around my mouth. Luckily for me he hasn't, wobbly teeth scare me to death when Steve isn't around to pull them out.

I go to the mirror and look at my face. There's a red handprint on my left cheek and a scratch on my right where my skin caught on a bit of loose plaster. The handprint will fade and the scratch is small so I don't need to bother making up any lies. I need to lie down soon 'cause my heads spinning from getting a clout for being late and getting squished too hard against the wall.

Steve's not here so I get the whole bed to myself, but I still curl up next to the wall like I always do. There's a Steve sized space next to me and I wish he was here. I can smell steak and mash potatoes from downstairs and I get a twinge in my belly and I know that, as much as I love chocolate cake, it won't see me through the night.

My eyelids feel heavy and I've got a headache and I could kill for a cigarette. Downstairs they're shouting and I can't help but feel a little bit sorry for my mama because tomorrow she's gonna have a black eye and a fat lip and she'll have to stay inside with her cigarettes and her coffee.

I close my eyes and pretend. I draw pictures inside my head, pictures of strange people and places that no one can understand except me. I'm half-way through a dragon with long eyelashes and a cigarette when I fall asleep.

**Ok, I know that not a lot happened in this first chapter, but I needed to set the scene a little bit. Let me know what you think, but no flames please. If you hated it, that's fine, just don't tell me. **


	2. Chapter 2

-1_Thank you to everyone who reviewed,I really didn't expect to get that many! Well, this is really just a warning, this story is about child abuse, and (although I try my best not to make it too graphic) there is no getting away from the fact that things like this do happen and thereforeI have to be realistic. If the subject matter upsets you, don't read the story. Having said that,I hope you do as the issue of abuse deserves to be recognised and understood, which is partly whyI wrote this story. _

Steve Pov

I love watching Josh sleep. Ever since I can remember I've lain awake watching his chest rise and fall, rise and fall. Sometimes I'd lay awake all night, terrified of closing my eyes, as if by watching, I was keeping him safe. Stupid really.

I don't know how long I've been laying here, just waiting and watching. Sunlight is beginning to seep through gap in our curtains, so I figure I've been here a while, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm here when he wakes up.

Right at that moment his eyelids flutter open, as if he knew what I was thinking. He sees me and smiles, then closes his eyes again. A few seconds later they jerk open again and he's looking at me properly and pushing himself up on his elbow. He blinks a few times before reaching out and poking me in the chest.

"Ouch!" I say as I smack his hand away. It didn't really hurt but…well you know.

"Sorry, I was just checking you were real."

"Of course I'm real, stupid. What else would I be?" He grins sheepishly and shrugs.

"I dunno, I just thought, I dunno, that I might have made you up. Or I was dreamin' or somethin'." His face is serious now. "I do that sometimes you know, when you're not here."

_No Joshie, I didn't know._

I want to say it, honestly I do, but the words won't come and now he's looking down, playing nervously with his fingers. He thinks I think he's weird. Nice one Steve, great going there.

"Come on, get dressed. We're getting out of here." I chuck his jeans at him and think about wiping his nose, but my hand won't move when I try and make it.

"You seen my shirt?" he asks, rubbing sleepy dust out the corners of his eyes.

"You left it yesterday. Darry washed it cause it stank. We're gonna go pick it up now." He nods and wipes his nose on his arm, at least it saves me the trouble.

"Can I borrow one of yours?"

"One of my what?"

"Shirts." He's playing with his fingers again.

"Josh, it'll be massive on you. Can't you just go like that, it's a hot day, no one will notice." He shakes his head and looks down at his stomach.

Now I understand. An ugly purplish bruise covers the left lower part of his belly, disappearing under his underwear. Me and Josh are both ashamed of what happens to us at home, and we both hide the evidence. I hide behind tales of fights and punch ups, Josh covers it with clothes and a smile. Joshie never went in for lying.

He's watching me carefully, checking to see if I've understood. Of course I have. I start searching for something he can wear and his shoulders relax slightly. I find a screwed up vest under the bed. It's grey with dust and has a nasty purple stain down the front but it'll do the trick. I pull it over his head and Josh smiles so good I can almost believe he doesn't have a care in the world.

We're quiet as we go downstairs because he's nervous and I'm nervous although neither of us says anything. It stinks of smoke and beer and sweat and we both know our old man's passed out somewhere. Mum's sitting bolt upright on the couch, staring into nothing. We stop and watch her. Up 'til recently Josh would've gone to her, stroked her hair, sat on her lap, wound his skinny arms around her neck, tried to make her mum again. I wonder when he stopped and why I didn't notice.

We both know mum's not going to be there when we get back. She'll go off to stay with some old friend, filled with hope and empty promises that her life could be better, so much better, if she would just leave him. She'll come crawling back once the dream turns sour. Sometimes she'll be gone days, weeks, months. Never quite managed a year but one of these days…

"Bye mama," Josh whispers as I usher him out into the sunlight. He still cares a little bit then. For some reason my throat starts to get tight and my eyes start to prickle. Maybe it's because I know that one day he'll stop caring all together and get cold and hard and mean and won't care whether mama goes or stays or whatever. I tell myself to get a grip but the feeling won't go away and then there's a tear running down my cheek even though I swore years ago I'd never ever cry over my family ever again. Josh isn't looking at me and I'm glad because if he ever saw me like this I'd never be able to look him in the eyes again and he knows it.

I've calmed down by the time we get to Soda's house and decided all this hot whether is having a bad effect on me. We watch Micky Mouse, play poker, arm wrestle and eat chocolate cake but deep inside I know I'm still crying and Josh is still at home with mama. Josh smiles and I lie and I wonder if it's going to be like this forever. Eventually Joshs' smile will crack and I'll run out of lies, but until then I guess we'll just keep doing what we do best, even though inside it's killing us.

Stupid really. Stupid and sad.

Soda Pov

"Hey Joshie, I found an art class for you to take." Josh turns to look at Darry, checking if he's serious or not.

"You know we can't afford for him to be taking no art class." Steve's playing poker with Two-bit, who's pulling an ace out of his shoe before Steve's even finished the sentence.

"You don't have to pay anything. The teacher's a friend of mine, I went to school with him. He's a nice guy, I showed him some of your stuff. He reckons you're good Josh, real good." Darry ignores Steve and keeps his eyes fixed on Josh who's chewing his lip. Steve's watching them closely and I can see him getting mad.

"Which picture did you show him?" Josh asks after a while, watching Darry just as closely as Steve is. Ponyboy's watching to, looking up from his book. I can't read his face but I bet he's wondering why Darry never told him about this art class. He knows Ponyboy likes to draw. Hell, I'm wondering why myself.

"The one with the children and the trees and the fire. I found it when I was tidying up." I know Darry, that means he looked for it for hours and hours and hours.

"That one was rubbish, I mucked it up."

"Well you'll have to go then, to the show the guy how much better you can do." Josh still isn't sure.

"What about Ponyboy? Wouldn't you rather he go. I mean…" He trails off and looks at Steve then at Ponyboy. Josh is only nine but he understands stuff real good and can sense that something isn't right.

"Ponyboy's too busy. He's got track practice and school work and all that stuff." Darry does realise Ponyboy's only sitting about three feet away right? "Josh this could be your chance, this could be your way out of here."

Darry's always on about getting out, as if Tulsa's some trap that's holding us all here against our will. Trouble is, he's so set on getting out, he doesn't think about the people that are gonna be left behind. Steve's jaw is set in a hard line and his voice is tense.

"Look Darry, if he doesn't want to go…"

"I'll go," Josh jumps in quick before Steve can piss Darry off and ruin his chance. "Just once, to see what it's like and that."

Steve grinds his teeth together and Josh looks at him all big eyes and worry lines, but as Darry nudges his leg, he turns and I'll be damned if his eyes aren't sparkling like a pot full of diamonds.

Josh leaves after lunch and I finally manage to corner Darry. "What was all that about with Josh and this art thingy. Didn't you realise Ponyboy was sitting right behind you?" I hiss, keeping my voice low so Pony won't hear.

"Yeah." Darry says and if he weren't my brother and I didn't love him I'd want to kill him.

"Well, didn't it ever occur to you that he might have wanted to go to this art class too? You know he likes to draw. He's going to think you thought of Josh before you thought of him."

"That's because I did." I open my mouth to ask him what the hell he's talking about but he continues. "Don't you see Sodapop? Look at all the chances Ponyboy's got, he's a bright kid, he's good at track, he makes good grades, he's got us to help him out. Josh doesn't have anything, except his drawing. Josh is still young, he's still got a chance, he could still make it. So what if Ponyboy missed out just this once, worse that can happen is he'll turn out like me or you. But if Josh doesn't find a way out of here soon, he's going to end up just like Steve."

I look across at my best friend, staring moodily at nothing with a cigarette dangling from his bottom lip. I think of Josh and his sparkling eyes and I understand what Darry means.

Steve Pov 

I've left it too long, God knows what could've happened to him in twenty minutes. I should have gone with him when he left but I foolishly thought he could look after himself and there was no way he'd be this stupid. I guess I'm the stupid one.

I kick open the door to our house and look widely around the living room. I can hear Josh crying, but I can't see him. I move towards the kitchen, watching where I tread in case he's lying on the floor and I accidentally step on him.

I know they're in the kitchen long before I see them. He's struggling with Josh, who's putting up a good fight, alternating between kicks and pleas. The old man's got him by the arm and is dragging him towards the living room. Josh sees me standing in the doorway and goes limp.

Dad follows his gaze and looks at me, challenging me to take him. We stand there, staring each other out, his eyes mean and laughing, goading me on. I'll never hit him back, and he knows it.

I think it's because I remember what it was like before… He'd take me to feed the ducks, holding my hand tight in his. Or he'd lift me up on his shoulders so I could see the football game. I'd feel proud to have such a great dad. I remember laughing, joking, crying… and I just can't bring myself to do it.

Josh lives for the day when he'll be big enough to hit our dad back, but I guess we're different. He's too young to remember the good times. Josh knows I can't protect him from dad so he doesn't try and make me. But I see the helpless look in his eyes and I hate myself for it.

Josh gives a small sob and everything jerks back into action, dad bundling him past me and into the cupboard under the stairs and Josh's crying becoming hysterical and scary. He hates being locked in the cupboard and I understand because I used to hate it too. The key grates in the lock and dad smiles at me as he saunters out the door.

"Your brother's been a naughty boy. That's what happens to naughty boys in this house." I wait till he's out the door before I hurl a chair against the wall.

Josh is in a right state, he's not breathing right and if he doesn't start soon he's gonna pass out. I sit down on the floor and talk to him through the door.

"It's ok Josh," I tell him. "I'm still here. You're not on your own, I'm just out here." I keep talking like that, careful to keep my voice calm and steady. Slowly he starts to calm down, his breathing becoming methodical and even.

"Don't be scared," I say once I'm sure he's not still freaking out on me. He doesn't saying anything because we both know that he's scared to death.

"Steve," He whispers and I have to strain to hear him. "I'm bleeding." Jesus Christ…

"Ok, where did he hurt you?" Stay calm Steve, you can handle it.

"My head and my nose…I'm real tired Steve, I think I might just close my eyes for…"

"No no no Josh, don't do that! You don't fall asleep you hear me? Josh? Josh? Ok, here's what we're gonna do, uh… I want…I want you to take off your shirt ok? Josh, you do as I say now, I'm not messing around…" I listen hard for the sound of him moving, but I don't hear jack. I bang hard on door with the palm of my hand, making it rattle and jolt. "Josh? Joshua?"

"Hmm?" His voice sounds small and lost, like a little kid's.

"You need to listen to me Josh, can you do that? You mustn't fall asleep ok? Coz I might not be able to wake you up again…so, I just want you to listen? Did you hear what I said before?" Now, I'm no doctor…but even I know falling asleep when you've had a blow to the head isn't good. He could have a whatsit…concussion. I saw it on a tv show once.

"No…" He sounds like he's about to cry. Shoot, he's not the only one. "I'm real sorry Steve…everything's spinning, I wanna lie down…can you get me a cigarette? Just one cigarette would be real good Steve. The Dragon wants one too, so she doesn't burn her…her…"

"Her what Josh? You keep telling me about the dragon while you take you shirt off ok?"

"Her…her…Steve? Steve I can't remember! Why can't I remember? She doesn't burn her…. something…her…?"

"Joshua! You take of your goddamn shirt right this minute you hear me!" He bursts into tears and I feel like shit. I shouldn't have yelled at him, yelling never works with Josh, you gotta talk nice to him. I know that better than anyone. I put my head in my hands I take a few deep breaths. "Josh? Joshie?"

He doesn't answer for a long time, and I think that's it, I've lost him. But then he says, real quiet and sad, "Sorry Steve, I took my shirt off. Don't be mad at me, I'll remember in a minute, honest I will."

God only knows what he's talking about, but it's a start. "Good boy Josh, that's real good. Now I want you to hold it against your head ok? Put it over where it's bleeding, you can do that for me can't you?"

"I done it Steve, but it's very dark…I don't like it. It's so hot…tell Darry…"

"Tell Darry what Josh?"

"Darry that…I can't go to art class, coz I've been naughty and I'm in the cupboard, but…but…I'll go soon, when…when everything's better."

"Yeah ok, I'll tell him for you." The kid's lost it, he's talking a load of crap. But at least he's talking, I guess I might as well join him. "Why'd you do it Josh? You knew mama would've been long gone by now…why'd you come back?"

"Dunno…I just had to check. She never said…said goodbye. I miss her when…"

"When what?"

"Eyelashes…" His voice sounds think and distant. "The dragon…cigarette for her eyelashes."

"Yeah Josh, eyelashes. Well done you remembered…"

"I knew I would…you can stop being mad now Steve, because…"

"I ain't never been mad at you Josh, just…just pissed off at, at everything. But not you; never at you." But he doesn't hear me, because I hear a thud and know he's slumped over, sleeping like a baby. I close my eyes and do the same, leaning against the door with my knees tucked up to my chest.

_Hmm,_ _well I'm not sure about this chapter, so your views would be greatly appreciated. Remember though, keep it nice! Constructive criticism only please! _

_Smile xxxxxx_


	3. Chapter 3

Steve Pov 

I wake up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I turn around and see the cupboard open and empty.

Shit.

My old man passed out on the sofa, the front door hanging off it's hinges, the sun shining through the cracks in the ceiling; everything looks the same yet the house feels different somehow. God only knows why.

Now I know Josh like I know me, and the first thing he'll have done when that cupboard door was opened would be to shoot straight outa there like a bat outa hell. Bleeding head or no bleeding head he's a smart kid, takes after me. I push myself up off the floor and tear out the door after him.

Christ, every damn kid on the damn eastside looks like my little brother. No point hanging around here, though he pretends otherwise Josh isn't a fan of crowded places and I know it. My feet are taking me to the Curtis's house and hell, I might as well let 'em as that seems as good a place to start as any.

Ponyboy looks set to jump straight outa his skin as I come busting through the door, hollering at the top of my lungs about Josh. He just blinks at me in that annoying way he has which makes him look like chipmunk.

"Is he here!" I say as I stick my head into all their rooms, in case Josh felt like taking another catnap.

"Who?" Jesus Christ, I swear to god I could kill that kid sometimes. He's supposed to be smart but he's pretty good at hiding it. If Josh was even the slightest bit like Ponyboy Curtis I'd have knocked some sense into him years ago.

"Elvis Presley…" Blink, blink, blink…god I don't have time for this. "Josh you idiot! He's run off somewhere."

"What!" Darry sticks his head out the kitchen, dish rag still in hand. "Where's he gone? Why? How…I thought…"

"Yeah well you thought wrong. Look he hit his head, he was talking a load of crap, god only knows where he's gone." I charge back out of their door and into the bright sunlight, looking frantically from side to side, trying to decide which way to run first.

"Look…we'll split up ok. I'll take the truck, you and Ponyboy head to the lot then split up from there. Meet back here in twenty minutes. We'll find him Steve, don't worry."

Darry's voice makes me jump, him appearing beside me outa nowhere like that. I recover myself enough to utter a gruff "I'm not worried."

Darry just raises his eyebrows and yells at Ponyboy to get his shoes on. Before I know where I am he's disappearing round the corner in their old ford, and I'm sprinting towards the lot with Ponyboy hot on my heels.

I'm panting by the time we reach the lot, sweat trickling down my forehead and making my shirt stick to my back. Ponyboy's standing next to me, not even breathing heavily. Jesus…I hate that kid. He straightens up and shields his eyes with his hand, staring off into the distance as if Josh is suddenly going to appear through the sun glare.

"Now…" He says, slowly and carefully, sounding like he's talking more to himself than to me. "If I were Joshua Randle…where would I go…"

God, and I thought Josh talked a lot of crap! I shove him hard in the back as I jog past him in the direction of the Nightly Double. "Thank God you're not Josh…if I were related to you, I'd shoot myself."

Even though I still feel sick to my stomach with worry, picturing Ponyboy's confused and startled face makes me feel slightly better.

Twenty minutes later I'm back outside Darry's house, wiping sweaty palms down my jeans and dying for a drink of water. Darry pulls up in the truck, shaking his head as he jumps out. I start to mutter a prayer in my head, like my mother used to tell me when I was younger. _"Please, please God, let Josh be ok. Please."_

Darry's looking at his watch. "Where's Ponyboy?" He asks, looking at me expectantly.

I shrug. "How the hell should I know." I've got more important things to be worrying about than Ponyboy 'the tagalong' Curtis.

Darry stares at his watch again, as if it might know where Ponyboy is. "Is been a good half hour, he should be back by now."

I shrug again because there's nothing much I can say. Darry stares off into the distance, using his hand to shade his eyes, just like Ponyboy did earlier.

"Great…" He mutters darkly. "That's just what we need; two missing kids."

I know it's them before we even reach the edge of the park. Darry must realise it too, as we both stop running just short of the playing field. We both watch dumbly as the two silhouettes stagger slowly towards us, the setting sun blazing red and orange behind them. Ponyboy has his arm around Josh, half holding him, half dragging.

Me and Darry start jogging towards them, relief slowly replacing a sick feeling of unease that had settled in the pit of my stomach without me really noticing. As we get closer I see Josh's head is lolling uselessly on Ponyboy's shoulder, his eyes closed and his face expressionless. I can see Ponyboy beginning to slump under Josh's dead-weight, he's looking scared and desperate, almost like he's about to cry.

There's no use yelling at Josh if you want him to do something, you gotta talk to him real calm and real nice, kinda like you're talking to a baby. Ponyboy's obviously figured this out as I can hear him saying "It's alright Josh, nearly there. Just a few more steps ok? That's it, tiny little baby steps, just one at a time. Yeah, that's real good, you doing real good Josh."

Anxiety is beginning to snake its way back into my belly, slowly winding itself around my insides and making my breath come in short sharp bursts. We're almost there now, and I've got this idea in my head that as soon as I get to Josh everything is gonna be ok and he'll open his eyes and stop scaring me to death like he is now.

"Darry I can't…" Ponyboy calls out, his voice rasping and catching in his throat. They fall to the floor just as we get to them. Ponyboy's breathing hard and staring up at the sky, his left arm still around Josh who's now lying flat on his back beside him. "Couldn't hold him…too heavy…"

"Jesus Pone…you, are you alright?" Darry's kneeling down next to then, he looks like he wants to do something to help, but doesn't know what. I know the feeling. "What happened?"

Ponyboy shifts, trying to move his arm out from underneath Josh. He gives up and lies still again. "I dunno…he was alright before. I found him by the fountain, dangling his feet in the water. I think he was hot, but he was a bit confused…I didn't really understand what he was talking about. I told him that we should get back, but he said he didn't want to…said something about a cupboard. Anyways, I told him you were waiting for him Steve, and he said he'd come. We were walking along and he was holding my hand, he kept spacing out on me, but I figured he was just tired. So I put my arm round him just to sorta help him along a bit I guess. Then…I dunno…we were walking and he just suddenly went really…really heavy. I thought he'd fallen asleep, but I couldn't carry him so I just kept walking…and then…and then you came."

Ponyboy's watching Darry real carefully, like checking to make sure he's not mad or anything. He's got that pleading look in his eye that Josh has sometimes. Darry reaches down and puts his hand on Ponyboys hair, stroking it real gently with his fingers. Ponyboy takes a deep breath and starts to relax, and for just that one moment I wish me and Josh could be like that, just for a moment…

"Steve, help me move Josh so we can get Ponyboy up would ya?" The moment's gone and Darry's back to being in control which means I'm back to being worried and everything is back to normal. I lift Josh up slightly so Ponyboy can slip his arm out, and Darry hauls him gently to his feet. "Are you ok?" He asks, holding Ponyboy away from him so he can look him up and down. "How's your arm? Feel any different? You can move it alright?"

Ponyboy nods and mutters something about pins and needles, but I'm to busy poking at Josh with my toe to pay much attention. When he still won't get up I crouch down next to him, shaking him like I do on school mornings. His head didn't seem too bad from a distance, but now I'm up close I can see his hair is clumped together with blood and there's a trickle running down the side of his neck. I shake him a bit harder as my stomach does a nosedive.

"He's not gonna get up Steve. You'll have to carry him." Darry says it gently, but behind his eyes I think I see a hint of annoyance. I hadn't noticed they were watching me. Darry has his arm protectively around Ponyboy, who's gazing at me steadily with a strange sad look in his eye. I don't like it, it's like he's…he's pitying me.

I heave Josh to his feet, feeling his dead-weight in my arms. I dunno how to go about picking him up and I wish Darry and Pony would stop watching coz it's making me feel awkward. I haven't carried Josh since he was weeny, my general line of thinking is he's got legs so he might as well use them, but I guess today is an exception. I remember I used to keep one arm around his back to stop him slipping sideways, and the other arm under his butt to keep him up so that's the position I'm going for as I lift him into my arms.

He keeps slipping away from me and I can't get a good enough hold on him. He's all floppy and that makes him heavier for some reason. I realise that when I used to hold him before, Josh would have his legs wound around my waist and his arms around my neck, helping to keep himself up. I look at his arms hanging uselessly by his sides and know that there is no way this is going to work.

I start walking anyway because Pony and Darry are still staring at us and I dunno what else to do. Josh slips further and further down until I'm holding him awkwardly under his armpits and his feet are about two inches off the ground.

"Steve…" I turn around and meet Darry's eyes even though I don't want to. "Look, you can't carry him like that, you're gonna hurt him and you're gonna hurt yourself. How about you give him to me ok? You look pretty beat anyway."

He takes Joshie from me, cradling him against his chest like a baby. Darry strides off and Ponyboy quickly follows, leaving me to strangle along after them all. Half way across the park, Ponyboy turns back to look at me. I think about punching him because he's still got that sad look in his eyes, but Darry's carrying Josh so I content myself with staring coldly back at him. He slows down slightly, enough so that I catch up to him and then we're walking at the same pace. He doesn't say anything and keeps his eyes to the ground, but he's definitely making a conscious effort to walk beside me.

And just for that short walk back to the Curtis's house, I don't feel quite so alone.

Ponyboy Pov 

Darry lays Josh down on the couch and Steve sits down in the armchair, staring at Josh with this weird look in his eyes. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was scared.

Darry's doing what Darry does best. He got everything under control and is already bossing me around, telling to me get this and be careful with that, prodding me in the back to make me move faster. He's given up with Steve, who's gone still as a statute and stopped blinking about five minutes ago.

Now, I'm the first person to admit me and Steve have a love hate relationship. And by that I mean we pretend to get along for the sake of Sodapop, but secretly we hate eachother, always have and probably always will.

But I can see Steve's really beating himself up over this whole thing with Josh, so once I'm done fetching and carrying for nurse Darry, I perch uneasily on the edge of his armchair. I offer him a glass of water and silently, my support. He doesn't do anything for a long time, but then he takes the water and downs it in three gulps. His eyes look up to meet mine, and I know that right at this moment, we understand eachother.

Darry starts cleaning the dark patch on Josh's head, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, which is Darry's way of trying to stay calm. Suddenly Josh lets out a gasp and sits up, wide eyes staring widely around the room. He reaches up to scratch his head, but Darry pulls his hand away.

"Careful there Kiddo. You took a knock to the head, but it's alright now…I'm just gonna clean it up for you ok?" Josh nods his head and Darry dips the rag back into the bowl of water I brought him, carefully ringing it out.

I look behind me at Steve, who's now sitting bolt upright in his chair. The strange look in his eye has been replaced by anger. I get up and go and sit by Josh, just to be on the safe side.

"Josh…" Steve says sharply, then when Josh won't meet his eye. "Josh look at me! Why'd you run off like that huh? I was right there next to you…Why the hell didn't…why the hell will you never let me help you?"

"Steve, I don't think now is the time to be giving him the third degree on what he should or shouldn't have done…" Darry starts through gritted teeth, but Josh cuts him off.

"You were asleep," Josh whispers, not even flinching as Darry dabs at his cut. "I didn't wanna wake ya up. You ain't slept that good in a long time…you need sleep Steve."

Steve's eyes soften as he mutters "You had me scared to death, you know that don't ya kid?"

Josh smiles a small secret smile at him before passing out cold. Steve jumps up ready to rush over, but Darry stops him, placing a reassuring yet firm had on his chest. "It's ok Steve, it's normal. He's had a shock, he just needs to sleep it off that's all."

Steve is looking from Josh to Darry and back again like he can't decide what to do. The door bursts open and we all breathe a sigh of relief as Sodapop saunters in.

It's dark as I step into the living room, the only light coming from the lamp on the coffee table. Steve hasn't moved from his spot on the chair and Soda's perched on the arm of the chair just like I was earlier. Except Soda seems to be doing a better job of offering support than I did, because there's two empty bowls of soup on the floor. At least Steve stopped staring at Josh enough to eat.

Darry's big old alarm clock is by Steve's feet, reminding them to wake Josh every two hours to make sure he's still…ok. Soda has a hand on Steve's back, letting him know he's still there with him. That's he's there with Steve instead of me.

I knew I was going to have a nightmare tonight the minute I found Josh sitting by the fountain. I dunno how, but sometimes I just know. I stuffed a handkerchief in my mouth just before I fell asleep to muffle my screams when I woke up. I guess it worked coz no one came running. I'm glad because Soda needs to be with Steve now, Steve needs him more than I do.

That's why I'm standing here, watching Steve watching Josh and thanking God I've got two brothers instead of just the one. Just because one's busy, doesn't mean the other one is. I'd made the mistake underestimating my fear of being alone after a nightmare, I guess I'm so used to Sodapop being there, I've forgotten what it's like.

"You ok Pone?" Soda asks as I pad past the couch and start off down the hall. Steve doesn't even look up. I nod and catch Soda smiling as I slip into Darry's room. He loves it how me and Darry are closer now and so do I. Me and him still have disagreements, but we keep them between ourselves and sort them out quick as possible. Neither of us wants to take the risk of hurting Soda.

Despite this, as I stand next to Darry's bed I start to have second thoughts. He's awful grumpy when he's woken up in the night and he's had a stressful day. Also he's not to keen on sharing his bed with anyone, let alone his little brother. He says I squirm to much. Maybe I should just leave him me… But then I think of my empty bed and empty room and can't make myself go back.

I'm still standing there trying to decide what's the best thing to do when he rolls over. "Come on Pone, you've been standing there for a good five minutes now. You coming in or not?"

He pulls me close as I crawl in next to him, resting his chin on my head. "God you're freezing…how can you be cold in this heat huh? What were you standing there like that for anyways? I thought for a minute you were sleep walking…"

"I didn't wanna wake you…" I trail off, not sure what to say next.

"You thought I'd be mad." He says it as a statement but he must feel me shrug because he continues. "You know I never get mad at you about your nightmares. They're not your fault Ponyboy, I'd never blame you for something that wasn't your fault."

"How did you know I had a nightmare?" I turn to look at him and can just make out him smiling sadly in the dark.

"Lets just call it big brothers intuition. I dunno, I just sorta knew…right from where I touched your hair in the park. I just got a feeling."

"Yeah…me to."

"I was waiting for you to scream…" I feel him squeeze me tighter and I know he's worried about me. "You know…you haven't had a nightmare since…"

"Since Johnny and Dally died." I finish for him. "I know…I think it had something to do with Josh. The way he was just lying there, he looked…" Darry strokes the back of my head, letting me know I don't have to finish my sentence and that he understands. I figure as we're having a heart to heart I might as well tell Darry something that's been bothering me since this afternoon. I take a deep breath and mumble into his shirt, "Darry, did I do something wrong?"

He lifts my chin to make me look at him. "No of course you didn't. What makes you say that? Has Steve said something to you? That little…"

"No Steve hasn't said anything. It's just…Josh was fine. Then he just went…funny. Should I have left him where he was? I didn't mean for him to get like that, he just went. And then I couldn't hold him…I got really scared Darry. I didn't know what to do, I just thought if I cud get him back to Steve…oh I dunno."

Darry sighs and strokes my hair. "I knew this would get to you…But you gotta understand Pone, it wasn't your fault. He wasn't thinking right…remember what Steve said? He'd hit his head, was talking a load of rubbish…weird things happen when people take a bump to the head ya know…"

I nod my head and we're quite for a minute until Darry says quietly, "You know, that was a real brave thing you done today."

"What?" I say, looking up at him.

"Letting Soda stay with Steve, even though you knew you'd need him. Me and him sure appreciate what you did, even if Steve doesn't."

I lean my head back against his chest and whisper into the sheets, "I don't always need Soda…"

But I know Darry hears me because I feel his chest swell against mine and he tells me to go to sleep, which is just Darry's way showing he cares. I'm awful glad I figured that out to…else I might never have known why God gave me two brothers instead of just one.

_Yes i know, i apologise for the corny ending. Honestly i do. Thank you very much to all my lovely reviewers, seriously you guys make me feel great. Well, i'm not very pleased with this chappy, but i wanted to post something. I may go back and change bits when i find the time or if the general opinion is extremely low. What do you think of the relationship between Steve and Josh and Darry and POnyboy. Do you think they're realistic as the relationship of brothers? Your opnions will be greatly valued so please review, however i am a sensitive person, so no flames please._

_Happy Writing_

_Smile xxxxx_


	4. Chapter 4

Darry POV

"Come on Joshie, please? Look, just let me clean it up a little bit. It won't hurt I promise, I'll be really really careful¼" I reached forward to grab him, but he was too quick, darting away from my hand and hiding behind the couch.

"No! I want Ponyboy! Only Ponyboy can do it!" I could hear the tears in voice and decided to leave him be. The last thing I needed was him to get in a state. He'd been like this for the past four days, ever since his accident. The graze on his head was healing nicely, it wasn't that deep really, but it still needed to be cleaned daily to stop it getting infected.

"Ok, you win" I said resignedly, placing the rubbing alcohol and cloth on the coffee table. "We'll wait on Ponyboy."

Josh eyed me suspiciously as he crawled out from behind the couch, making sure I wasn't gonna pounce on him. I raised my eyebrows at him but retreated into the kitchen to clean up a little.

"I'm home!" I heard Ponyboy yell about twenty minutes later, slamming the door behind him. Without looking I knew he'd dump his backpack on the floor and kick off his shoes so hard they bounced against the wall and ended strewn god knows where.

"I'm in the kitchen Pone." I called out, smiling as he appeared in the doorway. "Hey, you wanna check Josh's head for me? You know what he's like, won't let me touch it¼"

Pony nodded and disappeared back into the lounge. I poked my head out of the kitchen, watching as Pony grabbed the bottle from the coffee table. He shook Josh's shoulder from where he was sprawled on the couch. Upon getting no reaction, he tried again, harder this time. Brushing Josh's hair back, Pony peered closely at his face before turning back to me. "He's asleep."

"Ok, well leave him be for a bit. A quick nap will do him good, you can clean him up when he wakes up." Pony nodded and followed me back into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of chocolate milk. He sat down at the table, sipping it quietly. "How was school Pone?" I asked, just to be saying something.

He shrugged. "Fine. Oh, guess what Darry!"

I turned to look at him, picking up on the excitement in his voice. "Um¼You left your lunch at home today?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Nope, guess again! Anyway, I didn't forget my lunch¼.did I?"

I nodded at him, grinning at the bemused look on his face. "You didn't even realise? What did you eat for lunch?"

"Oh, we went to the DX. Soda got me some Pepsi and a snickers bar."

"Very nutritious," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"Sorry I forgot my lunch, Dar." Pony said seriously, blinking at me with big eyes.

I smiled at him. "That's ok Kiddo. You can just have today's lunch tomorrow. Saves me packing it again tonight!" Pony grinned back at me, looking slightly relieved.

"Go on then, you still haven't guessed!"

"Um¼I dunno. I give up, you'll have to tell me." Pony's face lit up as he sprinted out of the kitchen, reappearing seconds later waving a piece of paper under my nose.

I grabbed hold of it, trying to keep it still so I could actually see what it was. It looked like Pony's maths quiz. I glanced at the mark at the top and nearly dropped the paper. There in a big red circle was the number 98! I skimmed through his answers, seeing nothing but red ticks. My mood increased further when I saw the test was on geometry. Pony's always struggled with geometry. In fact he struggled with maths in general, it was the subject he liked least and found most difficult, but he'd been finding geometry particularly hard to crack.

I read an reread his teachers comment '_Well done Ponyboy, excellent work! You seem to have really understood this topic'_ I smiled ruefully at the irony of that comment, remembering the number of times I'd come home to find Pony sweating over his text books, drawing circle after circle until he got it right. _"Keep up this high standard of work and you'll be able to bring your grade back up to a B without any problems. Once again, well done Ponyboy."_

I put the paper down on the counter, and stared at Ponyboy's beaming face. I was completely lost for words, which doesn't happen to me very often. There were so many things going round in my head, not only was I thrilled with his mark and the fact his grade was on the way back up, but this was exactly what Ponyboy needed to pick his self-esteem back up a little. Since Johnny and Dally passed, he'd been having a tough time figuring out exactly who he was. A lot of the kids at school had suddenly figured that that quiet kid Ponyboy Curtis was either worth knowing or worth beating up. Pony'd accidentally become somewhat of a legend at school weather he liked it or not.

Not surprisingly, Pony had buried himself in his work trying to get things back to normal as quickly as possible and determined not to fail ninth grade like everyone had predicted. From the look of this paper, his hard work was paying off and I was pleased for him. Everyone knows Pony can do anything if he sets his mind to it, everyone that is except Pony.

But of course, there was no way I could say all that to Ponyboy, we'd been getting along so much better recently but we still weren't _that _close. Instead I grabbed him under the arms and swung him around as he laughed and laughed. When I finally set him down, he staggered slightly, gripping the table and smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"I did it Darry, I did it! I knew I could!" He cried happily, and I knew that, like me, he'd felt that test hadn't just been a geometry quiz, it had been a test of his strength and determination. It wasn't just about getting a good mark, it was about proving to himself and everyone else that he could do it.

"We all knew you could Pone," I said as I pulled a magnet off the fridge door, then secured Pony's quiz underneath it in pride of place. I always stuck important notices on the fridge, there was one on there that read _'Sodapop Curtis, make sue you wash all the oil off you hands before opening this fridge. We don't want a repeat of last time.' _

Another read _'Pony, there are six cans of Pepsi in this fridge. If I come home and find any less than three left, you're in big trouble mister.'_ I moved the final notice to make room for Pony's quiz, that one was in block capitals so you couldn't miss it. It read **_'TWO-BIT, LOOK AT THE NOTE TO YOUR LEFT. BIT FURTHER, THAT'S IT. READ IT CAREFULLY. NOW REPLACE THE WORD PONY WITH TWO-BIT AND THE WORD PEPSI WITH BEER. IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND GET PONY TO EXPLAIN.'_** I was going to have to alter the directions slightly, but that could wait.

I turned back to my little brother who was still beaming at me. I looked at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink then back at Ponyboy.

"You hungry Pone?" He nodded, then followed my gaze to the sink.

"Hey, it's not my turn! Honest it's not, I did them on Thursday. It's Soda turn!"

"Alright, alright, I believe you! You feel like going out for dinner tonight?"

"Go out for dinner? Like to a diner or something?" Pony repeated, as if he'd never even heard of the idea.

"Yeah, as a treat for doing so well on your quiz." He nodded his head dumbly, as if not quite believing what I was saying. I guess it was kinda unusual for us to eat out, let alone for me to suggest it, but hey, this was a special occasion and even I don't have to be up tight _all _the time. "Get your shoes back on, if you can find then after kicking them half way across the room."

"Where we gonna go?" He asked, trooping out of the kitchen.

"I dunno, where do you wanna go? Pick anywhere, your choice kiddo, you're the guest of honour!"

He laughed and thought for a minute. "Um¼McDonalds!" He cried excitedly, looking at me over his shoulder.

"Ok," I nodded, McDonalds wasn't my favourite place, but Ponyboy loved it and I did say he could pick anywhere. "Mickey D's it is then!"

I followed Ponyboy out of the kitchen, nearly running into him as he jerked to a standstill. "What about Joshie?" He asked, turning back to me. "We can't just leave him here¼"

I sighed and rubbed my chin, Pony was right, we couldn't just leave him and he wasn't in any state to make a trip out. But Pone would be so disappointed if we didn't go, I'd seen his eyes light up at the mention of McDonalds. I was trying to figure out whether it would be safe to take Josh with us but leave him sleeping in the car, when Two-bit strolled idly through the door. I don't think I've ever been so pleased to see those rusty coloured sideburns. "Two-bit!"

Pony caught my look and gave an excited squeak, beginning to frantically search for his shoes. Two-bit eyed us strangely. "Are you two going out?"

I nodded and tossed Ponyboy his missing converse that had been poking out from under the couch.

"Where?" Two-bit asked curiously, it wasn't often me and Pony went places together.

"McDonalds!" Pony yelled, bounding out of the door with still only one shoe on.

I shrugged at Two-bits 'what's up with the kid' look and grabbed my wallet from the dresser before following him out. "Hey!" Two-bit called after me. "Can I come?"

"Nope," I shouted back, grinning at Pony who was already in the truck. "You're on babysitting duty!"

"Hey Dar, are we going to pick up Soda and Steve or is it just us?" Pony asked as I climbed up into the cab.

"Just you and me today bud, Soda and Steve are only halfway through their shift. Besides, we're slightly strapped for cash¼" I muttered more to myself than Pony, shifting through the stray notes and coins in my wallet. I looked up in time to see Pony's face fall. He started to get out the truck, but I grabbed hold of his arm. "Hey where you going kiddo."

"I changed my mind. I don't wanna go to McDonalds anymore, I think we should just stay home."

I sighed, mentally kicking myself for mentioning our money issues in front of Ponyboy. "Put your seatbelt on Ponyboy."

He shook his head sullenly, not looking at me. "We're not going Darry. Not if we don't have any money, it's not fair¼I didn't really wanna go anyway."

I shook my head, holding up a finger. "Number one, don't you lie to me Ponyboy Curtis, I can always tell. You love McDonalds." I held up a second finger. "Number two, I didn't say we don't have any money, I said we're _slightly _strapped for cash. And before you say it that's not the same thing. I make the money, so I decide how we spend it, and right now I wanna spend it on taking my little brother to McDonalds so you don't get much say in the mater." I held up a third finger, noticing the small grin that Pony was trying to stop spreading across his face. "And number three, how many times have I told you to leave the worrying to me huh? Worrying is my job Little Buddy, it's what I do best. So you," I reached out poked him in the ribs and he doubled up in a fit of giggles just as I'd intended. "Just concentrate on bringing home those good grades ok?"

He nodded, smiling properly again. I pulled out and we drove along in comfortable silence for most of the journey. Ponyboy could hardly sit still, bouncing and jiggling around in his seat. On any other occasion that would've annoyed me, but just lately I've been making a special effort to understand Ponyboy more. After reading his theme I realised that if me and Pony didn't sort things out soon, I'd probably loose him forever. His theme hit me real hard, mainly because half of the stuff he'd been feeling I'd had no idea about. That hurt.

I glanced at Pony in the in the mirror and smiled to myself. Things were much better now and this afternoon just proved it. If I'd known have excited Pony would get over a trip to McDonalds, I would've taken him long ago!

But would I? Neither of us would ever have dreamed of doing this before, especially without Soda. Even then it would've been uncomfortable and awkward. I guess you could say me and Pony were scared of each other, not yet used to how our family had changed and how we fitted into to that new picture. I was never sure how Ponyboy'd react, he was so young when mum and dad died, and so dependant. I was so worried any mistake I made might finally push him over the edge, that without realising it I began to walk on eggshells when I was around him. Looking back, he probably picked up on the tension and thought I just plain didn't like him.

After the stress of being with Ponyboy, being around Soda was like a well deserved holiday. I let myself relax and let my guard down, while in hindsight this was the probably more harmful to mine and Pony's relationship than anything else. I was unintentionally making the gulf between me and Pony grow wider and wider. As time passed and we settled into our new life, our relationship became more and more strained, until finally it reached breaking point.

Well, it could only go up hill from there, and it was. It would take time for me and Pone to close the gap between us, but we were well on the way. There's a thin line between big brother and parent, and I was being forced to balance along it, waiting for someone or something to come along and push me off. As he grew up, Pony was starting to understand this, just like Soda does.

I jerked out of my daydream to find myself sitting in the truck parked in MacDonald's car park. I looked across at Pony, who was meant to be sitting next to me. Only he wasn't. I jumped as my door was ripped open and someone started tugging insistently at my arm. I looked down to see Pony beaming up at me.

"Come Darry, we're here! Lets go, lets go!" I let him pull me out of the truck, amazed that I'd managed to get us here in one piece. No wonder Ponyboy seems so out of it sometimes.

"What are you gonna have Pone?" I asked as we stood in the queue ,looking up at the menu behind the counter.

"A Pepsi," he answered immediately. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah, and what else?"

"Um¼should I get a happy meal 'coz they're cheapest?"

"No!" I said firmly, smacking him lightly on the arm. "You get what you _want. _It doesn't matter how much it costs!"

"Ok, then I want a double cheese burger with fries and a large Pepsi and ketchup." He babbled quickly, as if worried I'd change my mind. He took a breath. "Please."

I laughed at him and decided I felt in the mood for a chicken burger. I wasn't a big fan of McDonald's food, there's only one way it can be so cheap but still make a profit, and that's by filling their food full of all types of crap. But still, kids like Ponyboy loved it, they didn't care what was in it as long as it tasted good.

I ordered and paid for our food before setting the tray down at the table by the window that Pony had been saving. Pony pounced on his food straight away and began shoving it down his throat like he hadn't eaten in weeks. I picked idly at my fries, sitting back and enjoying the calm, happy atmosphere. It has to be said that McDonald's was one of the only places in town that wasn't divided into greaser or soc.

This was partly because, once you reach a certain age, McDonald's starts to loose it's appeal. Cheap prices and brightly painted walls were fine until you hit 16, then you started looking for somewhere more sophisticated. This is incidentally the same age that you start really noticing who you're hanging out with, I guess the two sorta feed off each other. Secondly, McDonald's wasn't exactly in Tulsa. It was situated on the highway that skirted around our small town and made most of it's profit from tourists or shoppers passing by on their way to the city. If you really wanted to, you could probably walk here from town, but it meant a long lonely walk along the highway and most couldn't be bothered to make the effort, not when there were perfectly good diners in town.

"Slow down Ponyboy, you're going to make yourself sick!" I scolded lightly, grinning at him over my chicken burger.

"Hey, it's not like I get to come to McDonald's very often!" He defended himself, but slowed down anyway.

We were both quiet as we finished our meals, Pony staring contently out of the window at the cars wizzing by and me watching a little boy playing with a toy car and trying unsuccessfully trying to remember Ponyboy at that age.

"You want dessert Pone?" He nodded eagerly and gave him a few dollars to buy us both an ice cream. He came back balancing two cones and handed one to me.

"Darry¼" he said sitting down again.

"Mmm?" I said, licking ice-cream off my finger.

"I like it sometimes, when it's just me and you." He told his ice-cream.

"Yeah, I do too." I said evenly, even though inside I was doing summersaults. "Hey, I've been thinking, maybe we should do this more often huh?" He nodded fervently. "Maybe once a month?"

He looked up at me shyly. "Every two weeks?" He suggested. I laughed.

"Ok, every two weeks." I reached forward to wipe away a dribble of ice-cream that was about to drip into his lap. "But don't think we're doing this every time you bring home a good grade. We'd never leave the place¼"

He laughed and I chucked him under the chin. He popped the last piece of cone into his mouth and sighed contentedly. "Finished?" I asked and he nodded. "Ok then, lets go home."

I cleared away our tray while Pony stood licking ice-cream off his fingers thoughtfully. The drive home was uneventful and as we walked through the door the normalness of our house hit me like a ton of bricks after the peaceful meal I'd just had. "I'll go clean Josh's head up," Ponyboy told me as he kicked his shoes against the wall.

I nodded and went into the kitchen where Soda was cooking up some weird concoction at the stove. "Howdy doody," he greeted cheerfully. "And where have you two been?"

"McDonald's!" Pony called through from their bedroom.

Soda looked at me, an expression of mock hurt on his face. "You went all the way to McDonald's, and didn't invite me!"

I raised an eyebrow. "It's a kids place Soda. They don't let filthy hoods like you through the door, frightens the little ones."

Steve burst out laughing and I could hear Pony giggling from down the hall. "I learnt everything I know from my big brother." Soda said seriously, although his sparkling eyes gave him away. He just had time to stick his tongue out at me before I grabbed him in a headlock.

"Did you see Pony's test paper?" I asked quietly, my head close to his ear.

"Yep," Soda muttered back, his voice strained under my weight. "Looks like the little professor is back in business." I let go of him and Soda straighten up, rubbing his back and grinning.

"Why did you go to McDonald's?" Steve asked. "Why didn't you just take the kid the Dingo?"

I shrugged, walking back into the living room. "He wanted to go to MacDonald's."

"I like McDonald's!" Josh yelled through, just to get his two-cents in.

"Shut up Asshole!" Steve yelled back.

"Hey Two-bit, did you see my note on the fridge?" Two-bit groaned at me from the couch, raising his head painfully.

"W-w-what note?" He slurred, staring at me out of bleary, unfocused eyes.

I sprinted back into the kitchen and jerked open the fridge. Six cans of Pepsi, no cans of beer. I sighed and took Pony's quiz down from the door and put Two-bit's note back in it's original place. I walked through to Pony's room. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, with Josh leaning back against him, gently dabbing at his cut.

"Hey Pone, do you have to take this back to school or can you keep it?"

"Um, keep it I guess."

I nodded thoughtfully. "I'm gonna put it in my room ok, just for safe-keeping." Ponyboy smiled at me before quickly turning back to Josh, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. I wandered into my room and tucked his quiz safely behind the picture of mum and dad on my dresser.

"Everything's alright now," I told them and myself out loud. "We've got Ponyboy back."

_Well, what can I say? I managed to write a whole chapter about a visit to McDonald's. I've just reread this and realised I only mention Josh's name about six times, which is ridiculous considering the whole story is essentially about Josh. This chapter really wrote itself, I didn't intend for it to be this long or detailed or Ponyboy/Darry centred. _

_I've just had a week off school and have been trying to write this chapter all week, but it just wouldn't go right. I must have restarted about five times. I'm meant to have been doing my maths homework, but I started writing and just couldn't stop. Does that ever happen to you? I always find I write best when I'm supposed to be doing something else, but maybe that's just me. Hopefully this chappy will explain a bit more about Darry and Pony's relationship as I felt in Ch 3 there was a big difference between how it was in the book and how it is now without much explanation. Oh and I apologise for the second cheeseball ending so far. But sometimes sappy is good right?Anyway, tell me what you think, as always your opinions will be greatly valued. The next chapter will focus more on the actual plot, I promise. Is there anyone's POV you'd particularly like me to write, because I seem to be unintentionally writing most of this from Darry's Pov. _

_Happy writing _

_Smile xxxxxxxx_

_P.s: 'iluvthecheat' I went through the whole chapter and changed McDonalds just for you! I must've mis-spelt it at least 15 times (Smile blushes and ducks head in shame)_


	5. Chapter 5

Pony POV

"Look Joshie I've finished it. You wanna start colouring it in or should I put it in the pile for you to colour later?" Josh looked up at me from where he was lying belly-down on the floor, a blue felt-tip pen clutched in his left hand.

"Um…lemme see it." I handed the piece of paper to him and watched his face light up as his eyes quickly scanned my drawing. "I wanna do it now!" He cried happily, brushing away the picture he'd been carefully colouring for the past half an hour without a second thought.

I watched as it swept up in the air then fluttered slowly to the floor, joining the sea of half-finished pictures that surrounded him. I'd have to get all this cleared away before Darry got home from work. Sighing I leaned back against the sofa, crossing my legs in front of me Indian-style.

Me and Josh have done this ever since I was small and he was smaller, only just able to hold a crayon in his chubby little hand. I used to make up stories for Josh using the characters I'd drawn, and I'd make sure I drew everything extra big so Josh wouldn't go over the lines so much. As Josh got bigger, he started making up his own stories, making changes as he coloured by adding a mouth to a tree so it could talk or shading the clouds pink so the children could eat candyfloss whenever they wanted and never be hungry again.

"This is your best picture ever Ponyboy!" Josh beamed up at me, just like he always did whenever I gave him a new picture. Loyalty isn't really Josh's strongest point. I smiled back anyway, because to tell you the truth I was mighty proud of this latest picture.

It showed a space ship nearly crashing into earth, being saved at the last minute by 'GreacerGuy'. GreacerGuy had hair like Elvis, a leather jacket like Two-bit, muscles like Darry and wings on his legs. The first time I drew him I thought Josh's face was gonna split he was grinning so big. Now GreacerGuy has to make an appearance in every picture, along with all the other little kid stuff Josh likes, like dinosaurs, spaceships, guns and police cars.

I licked my lips nervously, deciding to get down to business. I had a motive behind sitting here with Josh this afternoon and I didn't have long left before the rest of the guys started showing up; for this to work it had to be just Josh and me.

"Hey Josh, you know when you hurt you're head, you think GreacerGuy could've saved you? You know, like stopped it happening?" I watched him carefully to see if he would catch me out, Josh is a smart kid, but he didn't look up from colouring.

"Yeah, of course he could. He could've zoomed down into my kitchen and lifted me away before my Dad could've caught me."

"Why was your Dad trying to catch you? Were you both playing a game?" When Darry asked what had happened to his head, Josh told him he feel off his bike. Steve backed him up.

"No, Daddy doesn't like games really. He says they're stupid. I don't know why he was chasing me, he just was. GreacerGuy likes games doesn't he Ponyboy? He doesn't think they're stupid does he?"

"Sure he does, he plays games all the time. Did you fall over Josh? Were you running then fall over and bang your head?"

"Do you think he likes tag the best, or hide and go seek? I think he likes tag like me. Daddy caught me and smacked my face, coz you're to supposed to run from my dad. I fell sort of sideways and I hit my head on the corner of the counter." Josh had stopped colouring now and was staring blankly at the paper. "I saw stars in front of my eyes just like they do in cartoons. I thought I was going to die."

"Your Dad…he…I mean, why didn't he help you. You're were bleeding right, and it was his fault. Did he help you?" I could feel a sick feeling growing in my stomach. Maybe it was just an accident, a misunderstanding. Josh's Dad never meant to properly hurt him, he apologised after, gave Josh chocolate ice-cream and wiped away his tears.

"No," Josh said thoughtfully. "Steve came in and…" He froze mid-sentence, I could see his body stiffen and his eyes grow wide.

"Josh? Josh? What is it? What's wrong? Joshie?" He was muttering something to himself, something I couldn't understand. I leaned forward to hear better.

"I fell off my bike, I fell off my bike, I fell off my bike, I fell off my bike, I fell off my bike," he mumbled, clutching the felt-tip so hard his fingers had turned red.

"Josh?" I whispered, gently resting my hand on his back. He jerked away from my touch like it had burnt him, jumping up and lunging at me.

"I fell off my bike!" He screamed in my face, his nails digging into my shoulders. He eyes were big and scary, his chest heaving with emotion.

"Josh stop it! You're hurting me!" He blinked suddenly, still gripping my shoulders but pulling away slightly. "Ok, you fell of your bike. That's ok, I believe you. It's ok."

He sat back, his knees resting painfully in my lap. He took a deep shaky breath and grabbed hold of my hand. "You can't tell anyone Ponyboy, you can't tell anyone. It wasn't real what I said, I was just pretending. GreacerGuy couldn't save me. But you can't tell anyone what I said ok? You mustn't tell anybody." He was squeezing my hand so hard it hurt.

"I won't tell anyone, ok Josh? I promise, I won't tell."

He licked his lips, his eyes still fixed on mine. "Do you swear? Swear on your life?"

"Yeah, I swear ok? I swear on my life." I crossed my heart with my index finger, like I used to do when I was small. Josh stared at me for a minute longer before climbing out of my lap and moving away from me.

"Maybe….maybe _you_ should tell someone Josh?" I said cautiously. He shook his head sadly.

"No…I can't ever do that, never ever ever." He eyes glistened with tears as he looked me dead in the eye and whispered. "Little boys who tell, burn forever in Hell."

We both jumped as a shrill ring cut through the heavy silence. I picked up the handset and pressed it tightly against my ear, the cool feel of the plastic confirming that this was all real.

"Yeah?"

"Ponyboy!" Hearing Darry's gruff voice instantly soothed some of the tension in my shoulders. "How many times have I told you not to answer the phone like that?" I sighed at the familiar scolding, we'd had this argument a million times before. "Now do it properly please, just like I told you."

"Hello Curtis residence, this is Ponyboy speaking. Who's calling please?" I repeated flatly.

"There, that wasn't so bad was it. Do you see how much nicer that sounds?"

"Darry no one ever calls here 'cept you."

"That's not true and you know it. What if someone from the state called? Or one of your teachers from school? But if you ever give them a reason to call home, I'll skin ya understand?"

"Yeah…" I sighed again, rolling my eyes for good measure.

"And don't you roll your eyes either Ponyboy Michael!"

"Jeez Dar, what are you physic?" I muttered, hearing him chuckle. "Anyway don't you have anything better to do than sit there harassing me? Shouldn't you be half way up a ladder or something?"

"You just watch that tone Little man, else you'll have washing up liquid in your mouth as soon as I get home!" I laughed even though I wasn't entirely sure whether he was serious or not. "I do have to get back though, I was just phoning to check everything was ok."

"Yeah, everything's fine, just like it always is."

"You done your homework?"

"Erm….pretty much…"

"I want it finished by the time I get back ok? No excuses, you've had all day to get it done. I'll be home around six. Soda's making dinner but I expect you to help him out ok?"

"Yup, see ya later. Oh, Darry?"

"Yeah?"

"Just one bundle of roofing ok?"

"Yeah just one kiddo, I promise."

I hung up the phone smiling to myself. Talking to Darry had calmed me down and I turned back round to face Josh ready to forget the whole thing. But Josh wasn't there. I started looking around the living room, thinking perhaps he'd decided to play hide and go seek without telling me. Twenty minutes later I sat down heavily on the couch. There was no other explanation for it, Josh had run away from me.

I stared at the pictures still scattered on the floor, replaying our conversation in my head. Snippets drifted back to me: "_I thought I was going to die", "Little Boys who tell burn forever in Hell." _I felt a sick feeling rising in my stomach, something was very very wrong.

"_I fell off my bike, I fell off my bike, I fell off my bike!". _As far as I knew neither Steve or Josh had ever owned a bike. I'd begged my parents for a bike when I was about 7 but we just couldn't afford it. The Randel family had even less money than us, there was no way they could afford a bike for Josh. And if they had managed to buy one, Josh would've been round here straight away, jabbering about it nineteen to the dozen. How come he hadn't said anything about it?

Suddenly I knew Josh wasn't the one telling lies. I jumped up from the couch, shoved on my shoes and high tailed it out of the house to look for Steve.

_Wow, I haven't updated in forever! Sorry about that. But I'm back on track now, so updates will hopefully be happening much more regularly. _

_Smile xxx_


	6. Chapter 6

Steve Pov

"Steve, Steve!" I keep walking, trying to quicken my pace as subtly as possible. Why can't the kid just leave me alone? Isn't it bad enough that he has to tag along to every single thing me and Soda do, now he's gonna start hounding me on the street?! "Steve, wait! I need to talk to you. Steve!"

I feel a hand on my arm and jerk around. Ponyboy snatches his hand away, eyeing me warily. He's breathing hard and sweating in the heat, staring at me with his mouth slightly open.

"Well? What do you want? What the hell is so important that you have chase me half way across the goddamn town to tell me?" Stupid kid looks scared to death. He gulps and drops his gaze.

"J…J…"

"Oh for gods sake!" I mutter. "Spit it out will you, I don't have all day." He takes a deep breath and forces his eyes to meet mine.

"Josh told me." I shake my head, not understanding. Or at least, not wanting to. "He told me about what really happened to his head."

"I dunno what you're talking about." I say confidently, silently reminding myself to keep breathing. Josh wouldn't have told him…would he? He's never told anyone before. Just wait 'til I get hold of him, I'm gonna…

"Your dad beat him up Steve, he didn't fall off his bike. Josh doesn't even have a bike. He told me everything, he was…he was really upset. I think…I think you should do something, tell someone. Get some help…"

"We don't need any help! Josh is lying, he does it all the time. He likes the attention, just forget it Ponyboy, he's only playing games." That lie glides out of my mouth so smoothly I even surprise myself. Ponyboy gapes at me and I feel a tremor of guilt snake its way into my stomach.

A heavy silence falls between us, weighed down with tension like the calm before a storm. Ponyboy grinds his teeth together and if I didn't know any better I'd think he was sizing me up, wondering whether he cold take me.

"What sorta brother are you?" Pony asks slowly, his voice full of conviction and disgust. The tremor has worked it's way up to my chest and is squeezing my heart painfully. What sorta brother am I?

Ponyboy turns away from me and starts to walk off.

"Hey!" I shout after him, then when he won't stop, I jog after him. "Hey, Hey! I'm not done talking to you yet!" He turns around and raises his eyes to meet mine. If the kid were any taller, I might find him slightly intimidating. Wait, what the hell am I thinking? This is Ponyboy Curtis for fucks sake. He's like twelve years old or something. I've been able to warn him off with a glare since I was eight years old!

I draw myself up to my full height and push my chest out. "Who the hell do you think you are huh? Turning up here and shouting you're mouth off about how I'm a bad brother. You need to get your facts straight kid. Anyway, it's not like you've got room to talk! Your brothers work their asses off for you every single fucking day and how do you repay them? By getting involved in a murder rap and running off to Windrexville for a week and worrying everybody stupid! Guess that makes you a real good brother don't it Ponyboy?"

Ponyboy's body stiffened and his left hand curled into a fist. I was real hyped up, ready for the fight. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins and the hairs on the back of my neck starting to prickle. I'll let Pony take the first swing, gotta let the kid land one punch at least, then I'm gonna pound him like he's never been pounded before and I don't care about the consequences. I don't care about Soda or Darry or the gang or anyone else because I'm finally gonna shut up this stupid wise ass kid.

But Ponyboy doesn't take a swing, in fact he doesn't move at all for what seems like forever. He's staring steadily into my eyes and he's got that look he had that night at the park with Josh. He's pitying me; this bastard, good for nothing, pain in the ass kid is pitying me. I feel a new spurt of anger surge through my body. I haven't felt this riled up since Dallas got killed. In a tiny little part of my brain I know I'm starting to loose control and maybe I should nip this thing in the bud right now before the anger consumes me completely. But the feeling is easy to ignore as a bigger, more important part of my brain is telling me this is wanted all along, an excuse to wail on the kid and remind him not to mess with Steve Randel. The kid's been getting cocky lately, thinking he can ignore my glares when Soda invites him out with us, but I'll show him who's in charge.

Pony moves to take a cigarette from his pocket and I instinctively sprang onto the balls of my feet, ready to dodge is necessary. Pony sticks his kool in his mouth and lights it with a match. He inhales deeply and hold the smoke for a minute, blowing it out slowly. He watches it drift lazily away and says carefully, "You know Steve, you don't have to hit Josh to be hurting him." He lets his eyes flick towards me before turning on his heel and starting to walk away.

For a moment I'm stunned into silence, but I realise he's walking away from me for the second time today. "Hey!" I yell loud enough so that a women on the other side of the street looks at me curiously. Pony doesn't even acknowledge that I've spoken. A sudden burst of sympathy for Darry jumps into my head as I cuss under my breath because this kid is just so damn infuriating. But I guess I don't have Darry's patience or self-control because I lunge at Ponyboy, grabbing his forearm and jerking him round to face me. He stumbles backwards, dropping his cigarette onto the sidewalk. The calmness in his eyes has been replaced by unease and I feed off his discomfort, gaining confident from the realisation that I'm now back in control of the situation.

"Don't you ever walk away from me again kid, especially as we're not done yet. You've obviously got some sorta problem with me, and we're gonna sort it out right here, right now." I step away from him and ball my hands into fists, raising them in front of my chest like a boxer. My dad used to be a boxer before he started drinking. He won a few trophies for it before he got kicked out for beating a guy to death. I wonder if my dad had the same look in his eyes as I've got now?

Pony steps back too and I smile inwardly because I'm finally gonna get what I want. But then he steps back again, and he's shaking his head. "I'm not gonna fight you Steve." He says softly, and then he's hurrying off down the street, his shoulders sagging and his head hung low.

I feel an indescribable rage build up inside me, and before I know what's happening I've let out a mighty bellow and I'm charging down the sidewalk after him. I slam into him much too hard and he catapults forward. I watch in slow-motion as he plummets to the ground, hid hands coming out in front of him to try and break his fall. He sprawls onto the sidewalk, a sickening crunch making my blood run cold. A second later a pain-filled scream fills the air that will probably haunt me 'til the day I die.

Pony's yell jerks everything back into action and I rush over to his side, the rage having disappeared as quickly as it had come. "Ponyboy?!" I ask desperately, praying to God that the cracking sound I'd heard hadn't been his neck breaking. I can feel his body shaking as I place my hands on his sides and gentle turn him over so I can see his face. His eves are squeezed tightly shut, his face twisted up in pain. He's clutching his left wrist with his right hand and I know it's broken without even looking at it. I reach out to pry his hand away so I can check his bones not sticking out or something but he jerks away from my touch, his eyes snapping open.

He gasped suddenly and struggled to sit up before staggering to his feet. I remained crouched on the ground, watching as he swayed on his feet for a moment before managing to steady himself. Ponyboy lifted his hand slightly and looked down at his wrist. I saw his eyes widen before he lifted his gaze to rest on me. I've lost count of the years I've know Ponyboy, but I swear to God I've never seen his eyes as dark as they were now.

I slowly got to my feet, holding my hand out to him without knowing why. He stared down at his wrist again, slowly shaking his head in disbelief.

"Fucking Hell Steve!" He yelled suddenly, taking me by surprise so much that I didn't even have time to register that I had never, ever heard that word come out of Pony's mouth. "What the hell did you go and do that for?!" He looked like he wanted to say more, but a gut wrenching sob erupted from his throat and then tears were cascading from his eyes like nothing I'd ever seen before. He staggered backwards and began running down the street like I knew he'd wanted to do along.

"Ponyboy!" I yelled after him, wanting to follow but unable to move. "Ponyboy wait!! Come back!" He'd disappeared around the corner before I'd even finished my sentence. I stood rooted to the spot, replaying the last few minutes in my mind. Why had I done that? Sure, I'd meant to scare him a little, warn him to stay away from me and Josh and keep his nose out of our business, but he was just a kid. Just a little kid and I'd gone and broken his arm.

What would Darry and Soda say when the found out? Ponyboy would be about half way home now, ready to burst in the door and tell them all what I'd done to him. They'd be livid…beyond livid. They'd hate me forever and never speak to me again. I couldn't even claim it was an accident because deep down in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't.

I ran my hand through my hair and looked around hopelessly, completely at a loss of what to do next. Everything was ruined now, completely and utterly fucked up. And it was all my fault.

"Shit!" I yelled, slamming my fist into the side of the convenience store. As my knuckles connected with the brick my hand erupted with pain, but I didn't care. I deserved that pain and all the pain I was gonna get once Darry and Soda caught up with me.

I sat down on the curb and put my head in my hands. For some reason thoughts of Josh drifted into my mind. If I tried really hard I could just about convince myself that this whole mess was his fault. If he'd just kept his little trap shut….but that was a cold hearted, pathetic and cowardly thing to do. And, despite what some might think, I wasn't any of those things so I resigned myself to the fact that no one was to blame but me. And I hadn't only fucked things up for myself, they were fucked up for Josh too. Neither of us would be welcome around the Curtis's house once news of this got out, where was I supposed to take him when dad was drunk and on the rampage? I pressed my fingers firmly against my closed eyes, having to work really hard not to cry.

Once I'd managed to compose myself I glanced sideways and caught sight of Pony's half-smoked cigarette smouldering on the path. I got to my feet and set off walking, stamping angrily on it as I strode past. Might as well go and face the music.

_I've always wanted to end a chapter with a cliffy! Read and review please! I promise i won't make you waut as long for an update this time!_

_Smile xxx_


	7. Chapter 7

Steve Pov

Five hours later I stood outside the Curtis house, debating whether or not I was man enough to go through with this. I'd hovered around their street for the last five hours, nearly plucking up the courage to walk through their gate then bottling out at the last minute. As time had passed and the sun had started to set any sense of self-worth I'd managed to selvage had ebbed away. I wasn't feeling anything anymore, so I guess I had nothing to lose.

I took a deep breath before bounding up the porch steps and bursting through the door. I blinked in the bright lights of the living room and looked around, half expecting Darry's fist to slam into my face before I'd even stepped onto the door mat. Soda ambled lazily into the room from down the hall and glanced in my direction. I felt my stomach summersault; but better Soda than Darry I guess.

"Hey Stevie." Soda said easily, going through to the kitchen. "You missed dinner but there's leftovers in the fridge if you wanna heat them up."

"Oh, uh thanks." I said, looking round in confusion. I wasn't quiet sure what I was expecting, but this definitely wasn't it. "Where's uh, Ponyboy?"

"Huh? Oh Darry sent him to his room because he wouldn't help make dinner, he'll be allowed out soon though I expect." He stuck his head through the kitchen doorway and grinned at me. "You can come in you know Steve, you don't have to stand in the doorway forever!"

I managed a shaky laugh and stepped inside. "Oh yeah, sorry. I was just thinking y'know."

I collapsed in Darry's armchair, exhausted emotionally and physically from they day's events. I could here Soda banging pots around in the kitchen and the deep murmur of Darry's voice down the hall. I knew he was probably talking to Ponyboy who could be telling him everything that had happened right this very second, but I was too tired to move from this chair, let alone worry about something I knew I had coming to me anyway. That was why I came here, right, to face the music.

Pony walked into the living room a couple of minutes later. I got a good look at him before he realised I was sitting there. He was cradling his arm close to his stomach and his eyes were slightly red-rimmed, but apart from that he looked exactly how he normally did. He'd changed into a long sleeved sweatshirt, despite the stifling heat. He froze on the spot when he saw me sitting there. Darry was walking behind him and nearly crashed right into him.

"Ponyboy!" He snapped in annoyance. "Don't just stop like that! I nearly knocked you flying. Honestly I don't what's wrong with you tonight, you've been acting funny ever since you got home. Whatever it is I want it sorted out as soon as possible alright. We saved you some dinner, you wanna come eat?"

Pony shook his head, his eyes still fixed on me. "No thanks, I'm not hungry. I think I'll just….watch some tv or something."

"Well ok, but not for too long alright. I want you to eat tonight ok?" Ponyboy nodded and Darry manoeuvred around him into the kitchen. Pony sniffed self-consciously before slowly making his way over to the couch and carefully sitting down. He reached up behind him with his good hand and grabbed a pillow, putting it in his lap and resting his bad wrist on it. I heard him sigh in relief.

We sat there in silence for the next ten minutes until finally I couldn't take it anymore; I knew what I had to do. I leaned over to Ponyboy, resting my arm of the edge of the couch. He continued to stare at the tv.

"Ponyboy," I said softly, a note of pleading appearing in my voice. He turned his head slightly to look at me. "I'm so, so, sor --"

"Hello Curtis's!" Two-Bit yelled, throwing the door open with such enthusiasm you would never have guessed he'd only seen us all the day before.

"Hey Two-Bit!" Soda called back, his amusement apparent in his voice.

"Jesus Two-Bit, you're gonna break that door one of these days." Darry muttered just like he did every time Two-Bit entered the house.

"Hi Two-Bit." I said flatly, knowing that my chance to apologise to Pony had already disappeared. Two-Bit grinned, satisfied that he's made a big enough entrance. He sidled up to the couch and plopped heavily down next to Ponyboy. The couch jerked under his weight and I saw Ponyboy cringe as the movement jarred his arm.

"Hey kid, ain't you gonna say hi to you're old buddy Two-Bit?" Two-Bit grinned warmly at Ponyboy and Pony smiled weakly back.

"Hey Two-Bit." He said softly, his face tense with pain.

"That's ok Pone, don't get too excited. I know you're pleased to see me but you don't have to sound so happy about it!" Soda let out a laugh from the kitchen and I heard Darry tut.

"See if you can cheer him up a bit Two-Bit, he's been in a bad mood all afternoon."

"I'm not in a bad mood." Pony said tersely, glaring at Darry who simply raised his eyebrows in return. I knew from the look on Two-Bit's face that the damage had already been done and it was too late for me to do anything to stop it.

"Well now, I know just how to cheer this kid up!" Two-Bit declared, beaming mischievously. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Soda stick his head around the kitchen door, realising what Two-Bit was about to do and wanting a good view of the show. I head Darry chuckle to himself, he knew what was about to happen too.

It took Ponyboy a little longer to realise what Two-Bit meant and by the time he did it was too late. He tried to get up of the sofa, managing to choke out a strangled "Two-Bit no!" before Two-Bit grabbed hold of his bad arm, pulling it out of the way as he plunged his fingers into Pony's stomach.

Pony screamed like I've never heard anybody scream before and I hope I never will again. It sounded so terrifyingly desperate and raw that it made my blood run cold. Two-Bit snatched his hands away from Ponyboy instantly, his face a mixture of fear, confusion and embarrassment. Soda immediately stopped laughing and ran to Pony's side, closely flowed by Darry. I just sat in Darry's chair, unable to move or feel or think.

Pony was sobbing by now, harsh gut wrenching sobs that shook his whole body. He'd curled himself up into a tight ball on the couch, his head half resting in Two-Bit's lap. Both Darry and Soda were grabbing at him desperately, trying to sooth and quiet and uncurl Ponyboy all at once.

"What the Hell happened?!" Darry roared over Pony's sobs, looking accusingly at Two-Bit.

Two-Bit help his hands up in front of him defensively. "Hey man, I swear I didn't do anything. I swear to God, I just started to tickle him. Steve you saw it, I didn't do anything did I? I don't understand it…nothing happened!" Two-Bit looked like he was about to start bawling right there on the couch and I hated myself for it. It should be me Darry was glaring at furiously.

"Two-Bit's right Darry, he didn't do anything, he hardly touched the kid." I head myself verify Two-Bit's story.

Sodapop was bent over Ponyboy, whispering into his ear, his extra weight pressing down on Pony's wrist. I wanted to tell him to stop, that he was making it worse, but I couldn't say a word. I take back what I said before, I was cowardly and pathetic. I'd rather watch my best friend's little brother writhe in pain that admit that I was the one that had fucked up. Pony was wriggling around now, probably trying to throw Soda off him. It had the opposite effect however as Soda just hugged Pony tighter, trying to contain his struggles by force.

"Is he having a fit or something?!" Two-Bit looked at Darry anxiously, hoping he could explain what the hell was going on.

Darry shook his head hopelessly as Soda shouted frantically, "Ponyboy stop it! Stop it right now!"

Before I knew what was happening I'd leapt to my feet and hauled Soda away from Ponyboy, holding him back as tears slid down his cheeks. "What's wrong with him Steve?!" He sobbed, staring at Ponyboy despairingly. "Why won't he stop?"

I shook my head as I didn't trust myself to speak. The room descended into quiet broken only by Pony's muffled sobs. "Move out the way Two-Bit." Darry barked crossly, pushing Two-Bit off the couch so he could take his seat next to Ponyboy. Two-Bit stood up and moved over to the other side of the room, leaning against the wall and watching Pony with heavy guilt-filled eyes. The rest of us followed suit and slowly Pony's sobs began to slow down and his body stopped shaking.

Darry cautiously reached out and touched Pony's hair, starting to softly stroke it once he realised his touch wasn't scaring him. After a few more minutes Darry felt it safe enough to try and sit Pony up. I held by breath as I watched Darry reach for him, but luckily he grasped Pony's shoulders.

Pony's face was tear-streaked, his eyes red and puffy. Darry gently brushed a strand of hair from his face before stroking his cheek. "Baby," he said soothingly. "What on earth's wrong?"

Pony drew in a deep shuddering breath before whispering, "My arm." Darry glanced down confused, probably looking for blood or something. The rest of us stared too and the tone of the room shifted as we all saw five swollen fingers poking out of Pony's sweatshirt sleeve. Darry reached to grab Pony's arm but Pony let out a sob, pushing himself further into the sofa.

"I gotta roll your sleeve up Pone, else I can't see what's wrong." Darry reached for Pony again.

"No!" Pony shouted, shaking his head frantically. "You'll hurt me…"

I saw Darry jerk slightly, like he'd just been punched in the stomach or something. "I'm not going to hurt you Ponyboy," he choked out. "But I need to see your arm. How about we take your shirt off instead? I promise I won't touch your arm."

Pony blinked at him, taking a shuddering breath before whispering, "You promise?"

Darry nodded, already tugging at Pony's right sleeve. "Cross my heart."

He turned to Soda and I watched as their eyes met, a silent exchange taking place between them. Soda shook himself free of my hold and crouched down in front of Ponyboy. He placed his hands on either side of Pony's face and stared steadily into his eyes.

"Guess what happened at the DX today Pone." Soda said, his voice calm and even and his eyes unblinking. Pony sniffed and a tear trickled onto Soda's fingers.

"I don't know…" Pony said softly, his eyes flicking away from Soda's to watch Darry pull his right arm out of his sleeve. Soda tapped Pony's cheek with his hand, forcing Pony to look at him again.

"Well I'll tell you. This real funny thing happened. I was just checking this car over ok? It was a real nice car too, all red and shiny and new. God only knows why the owner let a dirty old mechanic like me anywhere near it, but he did. Anyway…" I knew what Soda was trying to do, I'd done it enough times with Josh. When my dad was rip-roaring drunk and smashing things up or my mom was sobbing and shouting and cussing and choking all at he same time I'd make him sit beside me and cover up one of his ears with my hand. I'd shove my head really close to his and I'd whisper-sing lullabies in his other ear to try and distract him from everything bad that was happening around us. Josh always liked songs, guess Ponyboy preferred stories. "…and then this man's stupid fat dog came and sat next to me while I was checking under the bonnet. Now this dog was real ugly, musta been the ugliest dog I ever saw…"

Darry shoots a look at Soda and Soda nods abruptly, still muttering about some ugly dog. He keeps talking as Darry and he switch places, but he has to break eye contact with Pony. The kid blinks and glances around, like he's only just realised where he is and what's happening. He sees Darry crouched in front of him and realises that soon he's gonna pull his bad arm out of his sleeve. Pony opens his mouth like he's about to protest but Darry quickly jerks Pony's sweatshirt over his head before he can get the words out. As soon as Darry's pulled the shirt off his head Soda grabs Pony's chin and turns his head away.

"So there I was just staring at this man and his ugly dog. There's nothing wrong with you're car mister, I tell him. Well thank you son, he says, here's a big juicy tip for you. Then he gets in his nice car and drives off. So I was thinking Pone…" Soda's eyes drift towards Pony's arm which Darry is gently starting to slide out of his sleeve. Pony sucks in a deep breath and presses his lips tightly together as Soda grabs hold of his hand and squeezes it encouragingly. "I was thinking what we could spend that extra money on. You got any ideas? I think we should start with a meal out at the Dingo, then maybe we could go and see a movie, all of us together…"

Pony whimpers as the material slips over his wrist, despite Darry being so gentle. I've seen him get the kid undressed loadsa times when he's fallen asleep fully dressed but he's never needed to be this careful before. Ponyboy gasps out as his sweatshirt finally slips off his arm then collapses against Soda's chest.

"Good boy Pone," Soda mumbles, kissing Pony's head. "Good boy."

Darry sits back on his knees, rubbing his temples tiredly. "We need to get him to the hospital, his arm's broken." My face twists in disgust as I stare at Pony's arm, but I dunno if I'm disgusted at myself for causing it or at his arm itself. Maybe both. Pony's arm has swelled to about twice its normal size and it's a strange colour, kinda like a bruise but more red.

"Jesus." Two-Bit mutters.

"Sit him up Soda," Darry orders and Soda does, propping Pony up against the sofa. Darry starts to make a sling out of Pony's sweatshirt, tying the arms around Pony's neck while Soda tries to wipe away the tears that keep sliding down Pony's face.

"What happened Pony?" Soda asks the question I've been dreading as Darry sits back and examines his handiwork. "Did you…I dunno…fall over or something?"

Ponyboy sighs and shakes his head. Part of me wants to bolt out the door right this second but my feet are firmly rooted to the floor. Pony quits crying suddenly and looks up at me. Soda looks confused as he follows his gaze.

"Well what happened then?" Pony takes a deep breath and I try to make myself go numb. I close my eyes and wait for all Hell to break lose.

"I fell off my bike." Pony says calmly and clearly. My eyes jerk open and he's still staring straight at me. If I weren't already sitting down I think I might have collapsed.

"You fell off your bike?" Darry repeats disbelievingly. "Pony you don't even own a bike."

Soda reaches forward and put his palm on Pony's forehead. "He feels a bit hot Dar, maybe he's…y'know confused?"

Pony moves away from Soda's touch and reluctantly drags his eyes away from me. "No I'm fine. It wasn't my bike I fell off, it was some kid's from down the street. We were messing around on it, trying to ride it together and stuff. I was balancing on the back and he rode over a rock of something and I fell off and landed on my wrist." Damn, that kid's a good liar.

"Jesus, both Pony and Josh in a week huh? Damn bikes are like a death trap." Two-Bit tries to force a laugh but it catches in the back of his throat. Neither Darry or Soda seem to notice Two-Bit's comment but I feel the blood drain from my face.

I can tell Darry and Soda have bought his story. Darry's shaking his head and I know he's trying to keep from getting mad at Ponyboy for not using his head. Soda knows it too and quickly stands up, pulling Pony up after him. "Come on Dar, we gotta go to the hospital. Pony's still in pain y'know."

"Yeah ok, I'm coming." Darry grabs his keys off the dresser and starts to follow them out the door. He pauses and turns round as if to say something to us but changes his mind at the last minute and dashes out instead.

Twenty seconds later me and Two-Bit hear the truck roar off. We stand there in silence for a minute then Two-Bit looks up at me. "Fucking Hell…" he breathes, shaking his head. "I really thought I'd hurt him Steve."

I want to say something to make him feel better but I've never been much good at comforting people so we just stare at each other for a minute, both feeling like shit. "I need to go!" Two-Bit blurts suddenly, running out the door and down the sidewalk before I can decide whether I want to stop him or not. I know where he's going. He's going to drink himself stupid until he can't even remember his name let alone everything that's happened this evening.

Now it's just me, all alone in the Curtis house. Darry's chair feels soft and reassuringly solid against my back but that only makes me feel worse because I know I don't deserve comfort; especially not from Darry's chair. The living room is getting darker by the second but I can't be bother to turn the lights on. I can't be bothered to do anything actually, I just sit there trying not to think about stuff but failing.

Suddenly the front door crashes open and I can just make out Josh standing there. He peers as me through the gloom, "Steve? Steve what's wrong? Are you ok? Why are you sitting in the dark?"

He stands up on tip-toe and reaches up, flicking on the light switch. I stare at him as he stands in the doorway. "Steve," he says desperately, like he's been wanting to tell me for a long time. "Ponyboy knows I didn't fall off my bike."

I gape at him for a moment before hurtling into the bathroom and throwing-up in the sink.

_Thank you to everyone that reviewed, I was worried people might've lost interest in this story since I didn't update it for so long, but it's nice to know people are still reading. Seriously, your reviews make my day!_

_Smile x_


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